Dangers of ramdoodle

 I was on the Kelly Miller show for awhile, there were several Indian girls on the show, a lot of talented Mexicans and a few wild Oklahoma cowboys. There was always somebody on the show named Arky and Okie. Donnie and Ione had the concessions, Ione definitely didn't mince words. One day the health man came by and said, "These boys need to get blood tests to work in this county". Ione said, " They just got a blood test last week".
"But this is a different county they need another test," he said.
"But Why"?, asked Ione.
The healthman kind of stuttered." well, just because".
Ione asked," Do you think they caught the clap in the last week?" Hell., We work them so hard, they don't have time to get laid." 
 One Sunday we had an off day and several show personell went to see the local movie theatre. The movie was a Steve McQueen flic, called "Love with a Proper Stranger". In the movie the girl falls for a musician and gets pregnant, in the end they finally get married."
 Some of the show girls were talking about the movie and Ione was listing to the chatter. One of the girls said, "I felt so sorry for the girl in the movie when she got pregnant, didn't you Ione?"
Ione said,"Hell No, the first thing my mama taught me was how to take care of my box. She should've done the same".
 The show wintered in Hugo, Oklahoma. One night Donnie was late so Ione went downtown looking for him and found him in a local bar, so she walked in and said,"Try to get home soon, Dear!" and walked out.
A few minutes later Donnie came storming into their trailer and said, "What the hell do you mean insulting me in front of my friends?"
Ione said," Friends?'. "You call three drunk Indians and a candybutcher your friends?" Your Nuts!!"
I ran the candy joint for Donnie and on the blow off I would stand outside the joint and he would make candy as needed. One night I'm selling candy, people would walk up and tell me how many...I need one...I need three, etc, , So we were selling a few pieces on the blowoff, I need two pieces I told him. He said,
"Sorry all out of candy". I looked at him, we had electricity, I had filled the sugar can....how can that be, I asked.
"Out of candy , closed for the night,", he said.and cut the lights off. I walked into the joint and discovered he had puked into the candy pan.
"If you think I'm cleaning that up you are sadly mistaken," I told him.
They paid the working hands every night after the canvas was rolled and the show traveled in the mornings.
There was a prop hand that had an Indian girlfriend and as soon as they gave him his pay he would give it to her.  "we're going to get married when the show closes", he told us. Then he would go straight to his sleeper and go to bed. This went on for about four months, then one night for some reason he got up and went to the pie car and there was his girlfriend, as soon as he would go to bed she would go right to the pie car and drink his money up. "Oh no,"  he cried, "How could you do this"
"Alice the girlfriend said, "Don't be such a wimp, come over here in the truck cab and I'll make it up to you"
A couple called Red and Lil ran the pie car, the show had a two hole portable donicker, a friend of mine went in it and came out and told me, "Red and Lil are in there sitting on the crapper holding hands"
Ain't love grand?
 Anyway, I mentioned earlier the Dangers of Ramdoodle (that's an old circus term for sex), one day we were playing in New Hampshire near a riverbank and there was an old wooden bridge that crossed it going into town. After the matinee performance I decided to walk to town a few blocks away to buy some razorblades. As I crossed the bridge I saw a first of may butcher sitting on the rail and every once in awhile he would lean back and look down at the bridge. I went on into town and when I got back to the show there was an ambulance leaving the lot. "I asked another butcher, "Whats going on?" he said that new butcher was sitting on the bridge rail and he kept leaning back looking through the cracks in the bridge cause Roger the popcorn butcher was under the bridge with some broad banging her and a truck came along just as this kid leaned back and hit him in the head." We heard they were giving him last rites in the hospital and don't think he'll live till morning.  Another butcher named Barnes went through the guys bags, "just junk, " he said. But he found a letter the kid had been writing that read....Well mom, I'm doing well here, and everyone likes me and probably they are going to make me concession manager next year.
 "Gee " said Barnes, " I wonder if Ione and Donnie knew they were about to get canned?"
 So you see...sex can kill you if you're not careful!!
Barnes came close himself, he would drive the spool truck and one night he picked up a notch broad and she was giving him a B.J. as he was driving down the highway and when he had an orgasm he ran off the road and turned the spool wagon on its side, bending it so badly that they had a hell of a time unrolling it in the mornings. And everytime they unrolled it the canvas boss would stare daggers at Barnes. Barnes would hang his head and try not to look at anyone.